I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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