I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
