I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Actions speak louder than pants.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
