it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
