well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
