Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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