Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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