I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
