How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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