that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
