Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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