Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
