did you get engaged???
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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