ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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