My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
ttyl tear gas
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
