remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
