i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
