is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
