I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
