i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
