Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize