My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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