I cockslap morals
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
