it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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