Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
