how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
