my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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