And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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