when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
