Define "chronic" masturbator.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
