we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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