I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
