I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
