Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Randomize
