The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
