He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize