Welp...herpes.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
