Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
