dude i'm inner monologue high
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize