somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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