I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
COCAINE IS GR8
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
