Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize