Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
