im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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