Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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