New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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