Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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