the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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