i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
