I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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