Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
