Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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