Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
