u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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