sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
