Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
