Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
