i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
so let's talk penis.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
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