Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
