Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
