I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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